Writing Successes: Wrote a letter to Samsara, an Amazon who is in Army basic training right now.

Music Playing: This appears to be oldies. I think Donin was here.

Post-Surgery Healing: Much better this week. I have a couple of 'spots' left where things are...ugly. But overall, it's not as painful and I can stretch fairly well without wincing.

Remarkably, this post is not about breast reductions. This is a rant about my internet connection and then a little something about my current state of mind.

I'm having the worst internet luck this week. On Saturday, my ISP did what they term "changing the servers". Only trouble is: the servers didn't talk back or something. Basically, total wipe-out for us users. Proposed time back up? Sometime Sunday.

Having nothing better to do Friday, I paused and installed some network cards and then attached them through a hub to each other. Thanks to my dad, everything was provided. Well, okay. Almost everything. Directions for setting up a network on Win98 were NOT included.

So, I failed at setting it up. Undaunted, I put in a call to my tech friend. This is also the guy I work for, and from whom I get my dial-up. (Yes, I have dial-up.) He's a great answerer of questions, a fabulous friend, and a really inspirational dude when you're down. We'll call him CD, since it's his own handle (stands for "computer doctor").

The ISP was supposed to come up Sunday. But I couldn't get online. Finally, I called over to CD's house and asked if it was the ISP or if it was me, and explained about the whole network fiasco. They must have figured it was me, cause an hour later, CD arrived to repair my install.

After a wad of jokes about a 'coming out' party for my new breasts, as well as some off-color remarks to Kou who was also here, he fixed the problem. Bingo! Internet access.

Wednesday morning, it snowed. I'm not sure why. Something about arctic air and a breeze from the Pacific....snow. All kinds of snow, in fact. This on top of tons of rain from Monday and Tuesday, which had caused flooding and standing water as the leaf-filled gutters began to back up. (Living in a tree-heavy enviroment has its drawbacks.)

My friend Ladyhawke called and woke me up and I found snow. But we were having just a terrible time talking to each other. There was a horrible line noise, which I figured was my ancient telephone. So, we shouted at each other long enough for me to learn that she'll be moving in Wednesday next (Finally. She was due here the first of September.) and for her to learn of snow.

So I tried to log on, but couldn't connect. Waited an hour, watching the news about snow everywhere, couldn't connect. Some time around 3pm I finally gave in and called Qwest about it.

Me: HI! (shouting)
Qwest Repair Phone Man: How can I help you today? (bright)
Me: AS YOU CAN HEAR, I HAVE SOME MAJOR LINE NOISE.
Man: Boy, you sure do. What's your phone number?
Me: WHAT?
Man: (repeats)
Me: (gives number)
Man: Oh, yes. There's a cable out up there. They're working on the problem and it should be fixed by tomorrow night.
Me: OH. WELL, THAT FIGURES. THANKS.
Man: Don't worry, you'll be credited for the time loss.
Me: WHAT?
Man: (repeats)
Me: OH. OKAY. (doesn't care, wants internet)
Man: Have a nice day! Thanks for calling!
Me: RIGHT. SURE. BYE.

Basically, I had one day of internet all week. For me, that's a freaking vacation. I was online more the week of my surgery. *sigh*

This also means that when I did log in on Monday, I had 1300 emails to sort through. Yes, 1300. Mind, over half of that was crapola. And I had another 500 when I logged in today. I get insao amounts of spam. Thank you, I don't need my penius enlarged, I doubt any blue pill or enlarging patch will help it or help me get chicks, and I very sincerely doubt you want me to use your money for anything at all. In fact, I'd bet you're more willing to take mine. Buzz off. Thanks.

Now, for rant #2. State of mind: Dream Boy. This basically means semi-depressed, partly-nostalgic with alternates of self-loathing and racks of guilt. So much fun that I if I could reach in and yank him out by the collar and be done with it, I would. Nevermind the bleeding ears, please. Just remove it.

I get so frustrated at myself for these insane "look back" days. I don't want to go back. In fact, I've been forcing myself to go through the memory to the next day, the next week, and the next painful moment that followed the joy one I'm thinking about. Because after each time of happiness was a period of pain. Either he would have regret and guilt or I would, and then we'd punish each other in some form.

Anyhow, I hope to come up out of this soon. It's very annoying and self-defeating. Of course, if the radio would refrain from playing his favorite Moody Blues songs, I'd appreciate it.

Bizarre Quiz of the Day:




Which Woman of Legend Are You? Find out! By Nishi.


Herete!