Writing Successes: Yesterday's blog. LOL

Music playing: Still the same. Why did Sal want to know this again?

MOOD still going. Thought I'd take a moment to explain how this works. Usually once a month I hit a Shaun pocket. This is when I remember things, have some flashbacks, indulge quietly in a moment or two of fantasy, and move right on. Sometimes, it's no more than ten minutes, sometimes its 10 days.

I still can't figure out why this continues to happen. Intellectually, and whole-heartedly, I understand that every part of Shaun that I loved was something I made up. He was perfect. He was unreal. That's cause he existed totally in the space I made and within my confines and dictates. I mean, he's a romance novel character.

You would think with the total freaking meltdown last fall that I'd have gotten past this. But some part of me considers this addiction to be an "okay" thing. Maybe it's more habit than addiction anymore, I can't be sure. It has lasted more than nineteen years, after all is said and done. (We met when I was in high school and he in jr. high.)

I just didn't want anyone to get the impression that I this MOOD was more than it seems. It's a feeling I can't shake, a memory I can't let go of, a moment in time I can't let slip away. It all has to do with me, and not a bit to do with him. Please see the previously mentioned meltdown in the archives. LOL

I was congratulated for being honest and bravely posting all this crap today. Nice to hear. You never know how much of your personal angst to really let fly with, sometimes. Goddess knows I've more than my share to...share.

Guess another thing to say is that Donin does know all of this. Honesty is something I'm all about now. For the most part, anyhow. Sometimes, like yesterday's movie, it's not worth my own personal pain to get into with him. Course, it is bugging me, so I might mention it to him later on. You can never tell with me.

So that's part of the wrap up of yesterday. I'll shake the MOOD, have no doubt. Until then, things are colored in a Shaun way and tinted with rose. It's not a bad place, just leaves me with a bizarre feeling. You know, a mood. LOL

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