Writing Successes: Well, I thought about it. Does that count? No? Must be the blog then.

Music Playing: Alanis Morrisette, but it's ending. It should switch over to Loreena McKennitt here in a second.

Exerpt from "...And You Think You've Got It Bad"

One Always Displays Lady-Like Delicacy - You are woman by birth, but you earn the finest name of all, a lady, because of your tact and good manners. Many ladies wonder, should I shake hands, bow or smile when I meet a gentlemen in the street. The answer to this is simple, bow reseverdly with fine dignity. One always displays lady-like delicacy. A true lady must remember that when a lady ceases to be lady-like she injures the manners of her husband or her son, and if she be single, casts reflections on her father and mother and gives her lover a right to treat her with disrespect. A lady does not have to communicate with words. She has a bright light in her eyes, a colour in her face and a smile which is a greeting of the heart. She appears to make the stars brighter, the sun to shine and the flowers to bloom.

WOW! First, I'd like to point out that I'm taking this from the book. The phrasing and spelling aren't mine. My favorite part of this paragraph is actually where it remarks that a lady's ill manners give her "lover" the right to treat her with disrespect. Talk about a blanket statement! Disrespect can come in a lot of forms. No wonder beatings were a daily part of life for these poor girls. Stand on your feet or use the wrong fork and *pow*! But hey, it all works out....a true lady makes the stars brighter, the sun shine, and the flowers bloom. Must be one around here somewhere.

So, I have a fairly gross story for today. The only person I told was Sal, my husband, and the kid who was my witness. Okay, it's not that gross. But, it is gross.

I had to scan in some stuff today. I've been putting it off, and had a rather large stack to do. Some was even business; bad me for waiting so long. The last things I scanned were Angel scans in February. Anyhow, I unbury the scanner. I stack stuff on it when I'm not using it. My "important" to do papers and things like "And You Think You've Got It Bad" and "Lulu" and so forth. I calmly flick open the lid.

Let me pause to say that my scanner is about five inches from my left elbow. I have a corner desk that has "wings" down either side of the room. This desk basically takes up 2 whole walls of the room. Very nice. The right side is a bookcase, the stereo, the cd collection, my sort of non-altar altar of candles and incense, and the telephone. The right side is the printer and the scanner, and then stacks of crap people leave when they visit or read the mail or whatever. Then the corner part has the computer, monitor, and the software. I had a picture of it once. Not sure where I put that.

It's also around 8 am. They're pulling over a statue of Saddam on TV, my coffee cup is hot and half-full, and I'm pulling my mail. I'm bored with all these things and think, "Let's scan stuff in!"

I flick open the lid to the scanner and a thousand little black ANTS go running everywhere. I screamed and let the lid drop, to say the least. But it's too late, they're now crawling like a black plague all over the scanner in every direction. They were starting a little colony on the surface of my scanner, you see. There was a little pile of ant eggs just off the glass.

It was gross. I was appalled. I had NO idea that was there, and it's like 5 inches from my elbow!

I head for the kitchen and grab the glass cleaner. I also grab my youngest son. I mean, someone besides me should see this. I sprayed and wiped the scanner down. I carried off large amounts of teensy black ant corpses and washed them down the drain, along with the little pile of eggs. I sprayed. I unplugged the scanner, took it to the kitchen and pounded it upside down to remove other ants. They were hiding in the foam of the lid, and in the slots where the lid goes. Anyhow. I cleaned the ants out.

Then, just to take some revenge, I set out some of this ant poison that's been sitting in the package on my desk for like two weeks. I think it's working, I haven't seen an ant crawl across my desk in a while. But I won't be satisfied until every one of these black little terrors is out of my house. I mean, harmless, yes. But oh, how annoying.

And that was the adventure of the day. Hope you enjoyed that. (ha) Stay tuned for tomorrow's episode: Deoris Goes to the Shrink!