Well, the day is at an end. I can see that according to the Blog calendar it's already tomorrow, but it's still the end of the day to me. Not my fault the day lasts most of the night.

Cried about Gran a little. I suppose the worst part is that there isn't going to be a memorial for her of any kind. No funeral, no wake, no services. Nothing. I feel a little robbed. I was speaking to Jeff and he asked why I felt that way. I explained that it was because there wouldn't be a chance for all of us who knew her to get together and talk. To grieve. To share stories and experiences. To remember. And, most importantly, to carry each other through this time, to share the grief of it, pass throught it, and come out on the other side. Instead, my Gran wanted, I suppose, not to bother anyone.

Theryn asked if I was going to do something on my own then. She meant writing-wise, of course. I'm not sure. I can kind of sense the story on the outskirts of my mind. About fragility and the way lives end, but not right now. Now, I'm a ball of grief and emotions, stress and depression.

"Whitebird" by Great Day In The Morning is on again. I just love this song. It kind of captures how I feel, too. Soft, sweet, harmonious. The words are about a whitebird sitting in a cage, alone, and about how she must fly or she will die. I used to know where the lyrics are for this, but that computer crashed. Sorry, you'll have to take my word for it. It's from the mid-1960's too, so don't expect to hear it on your local "JAM" station.

I wanted to write a brief thanks to Sal's candle spells page. Her directions on large-scale healing really helped me get through the day. I had a lot to do, and I wasn't looking forward to doing it all under this cloud of grief. It helped put it into a manageable form and keep it where it belongs; personal, private, and yet open and honest. So, thanks, Sal. As usual, I needed that.

Still deciding on how best to use Christmas money gift from my paternal Grandmother (Nonie). Hard to decide if the kids would rather have a cool big present, or a bunch of small ones. I think we might bite the bullet and go with one big one. I think they are old enough to understand. But you never know.

Parting Shot

In a final aside, I want to remind all parties involved in the current MIRE at TC that this is all about ONE friggin' word. I'm not trying to make light of anyone's feelings about it, but it was just ONE word. Good grief.

Deo